• I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids…
  • I am not your type … I am not inflatable.
  • I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
  • I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils…
  • Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
  • A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home
  • At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
  • The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
  • i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window… I look down & den… i lauf again
  • 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
  • A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
  • Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!
  • Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
  • Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
  • BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelievable sex tonight! If you break this chain, you’ll never have multiple orgasms again!